1 Chronicles 19

David Vs. Ammon & Aram: A Full-blown Beef

1 After all that went down, Nahash king of the Ammonites passed away, and his son took over as king.

2 David said, “I am going to show kindness to Hanun son of Nahash, because his pops showed kindness to me.” So David sent messengers to give him his condolences about his pops. When David’s servants came to the land of the Ammonites, to Hanun, to offer their condolences,

3 The officials of the Ammonites told Hanun, “You really think David is sending these dudes to give you condolences, are they not coming to scout out, overthrow, and spy on the land?”

4 So Hanun grabbed David’s servants, shaved half their beards, cut their robes off at their butt cheeks, and sent them packing.

5 When they told David about these dudes, he sent people to meet them, because they were super embarrassed. The king said, “Just chill in Jericho until your beards grow back, then come back.”

6 When the Ammonites saw they had become a stench to David, Hanun and the Ammonites sent a thousand talents of silver to hire chariots and horsemen from Aram-Naharaim, Aram-Maacah, and Zobah.

7 They hired thirty-two thousand chariots and the king of Maacah with his troops, and they came and camped in front of Medeba. The Ammonites also gathered from their cities and came for war.

8 When David heard about it, he sent Joab and his whole squad of mighty warriors.

9 The Ammonites rolled out and set up for battle at the entrance of the city. And the kings who had come to help were by themselves in the field.

10 When Joab saw that the battle lines were set against him both in front and behind him, he picked out some of the best men of Israel and lined them up against the Arameans.

11 He put the rest of the troops under the command of his brother Abishai, and they lined up against the Ammonites.

12 Joab said, “If the Arameans are too strong for me, then you must help me. And if the Ammonites are too strong for you, then I will help you.”

13 “Be strong, and let us fight like men for our people and for the cities of our God. And may the Lord do what He sees fit.”

14 So Joab and his crew advanced to fight the Arameans, and they bolted before him.

15 When the Ammonites saw that the Arameans had bounced, they also bounced before Abishai his brother and went back into the city. So Joab came back to Jerusalem.

16 When the Arameans saw that Israel had smacked them, they sent out messengers and brought out the Arameans who were beyond the Euphrates River, with Shophach, the commander of Hadadezer’s army, leading them.

17 When it was told to David, he gathered all Israel, crossed the Jordan, came to them, and lined up against them. When David lined up against the Arameans, they fought him.

18 But the Arameans bolted before Israel, and David killed seven thousand charioteers and forty thousand foot soldiers from Aram. He also killed Shophach, the commander of the army.

19 When the servants of Hadadezer saw that they had been defeated by Israel, they made peace with David and served him. And Aram was not down to help the Ammonites anymore.