Judges 9

Abimelech’s Dirty Rise to Power

1 Abimelech, son of Gideon (Jerubbaal), went to Shechem where his momma’s people stayed and said, “You all want 70 dudes ruling you all or just me, your blood?”

2 “Remember, I am your flesh and blood.”

3 His momma’s people ran with that and hyped him up to all the leaders of Shechem. They were like, “Yeah, let Abimelech rule, he one of us.”

4 They gave Abimelech 70 pieces of silver from the temple of Baal-berith. He used that dirty money to hire some reckless dudes who did not care about nothing, straight killers to roll with him.

5 Abimelech pulled up to his daddy’s house in Ophrah and killed all 70 of his brothers, Gideon’s sons, on one stone. But his little brother Jotham slipped away and survived.

6 Then everybody in Shechem crowned Abimelech king beside the big tree at the pillar in Shechem.

Jotham Calls Them Out

7 When Jotham heard about it, he climbed up on Mount Gerizim and shouted, “Listen up, leaders of Shechem, so God will listen to you all.”

8 “Check this story, The trees wanted a king over them.”

9 “They asked the olive tree, ‘Rule over us.’ But the olive tree said, ‘Why leave my oil that honors God and man just to wave over trees?’”

10 “Then they asked the fig tree.”

11 “Fig tree said, ‘Why leave my sweet fruit just to wave over trees?’”

12 “Then they asked the grapevine.”

13 “Grapevine said, ‘Why leave my wine that makes people happy to wave over trees?’”

14 “So finally, all the trees asked the thornbush.”

15 “Thornbush said, ‘If you all really want me as king, come chill under my shade. But if not, let fire come from me and burn down the cedars of Lebanon!’”

Jotham’s Warning

16 Jotham told them, “If you all really did right by Gideon’s family and showed him love, cool.”

17 “Remember, my pops risked his life for you all, fought for you all, and saved you all from Midian.”

18 “But today you all flipped on his family, killed his sons, and made Abimelech king just because he your people.”

19 “If that is cool with God, fine. But if not…”

20 “Let fire come from Abimelech and burn up Shechem and Beth-millo! And let fire from Shechem and Beth-millo burn up Abimelech!”

21 Then Jotham ran off and dipped to Beer and stayed hidden from his brother Abimelech.

Abimelech’s Reign Turns Ugly

22 Abimelech ruled over Israel for 3 years.

23 But God sent an evil spirit between Abimelech and the leaders of Shechem, they started beefing with him.

24 God was setting them up to pay for what they did to Gideon’s sons, that blood was coming back.

Shechem Turns on Abimelech

25 The leaders of Shechem started setting traps for Abimelech in the mountains, robbing everybody passing through. Word got back to Abimelech.

26 Then a new player, Gaal son of Ebed, pulled up to Shechem. He started running his mouth and got the people to start riding with him.

27 They went out, picked grapes, made wine, had a party, and started clowning Abimelech, praising their false god.

28 Gaal said, “Who is Abimelech, Who is Shechem that we should serve him, is he not just Gideon’s son, You all should serve Hamor’s family, not this clown!”

29 He said, “Man, if I was running this city, I would get rid of Abimelech quick.” Then he sent word, “Tell him to pull up!”

Abimelech Responds

30 When Zebul, the city leader (Abimelech’s guy), heard this, he got mad.

31 He sent messengers to Abimelech like, “Gaal’s running his mouth, plotting on you.”

32 “Get your squad tonight and hide in the field.”

33 “In the morning, rush the city, when Gaal comes out, handle your business.”

Abimelech Crushes Gaal

34 Abimelech and his squad posted up in four groups around the city at night.

35 Gaal stepped out early, Abimelech and his squad came out of hiding.

36 Gaal saw them and told Zebul, “Look, people coming down from the mountains.” Zebul said, “Man, that is just shadows, you seeing stuff.”

37 Gaal looked again and said, “Nah, people coming down from the hills and from the tree line.”

38 Zebul said, “Where is all that tough talk now, Go out and fight him!”

39 So Gaal stepped out with his crew to fight Abimelech.

40 But Abimelech chased him down, Gaal’s crew ran, people got laid down everywhere.

41 Abimelech stayed in Arumah, Zebul kicked Gaal and his people out of Shechem.

Abimelech Destroys Shechem

42 The next day, people tried to go out to the fields, Abimelech got word.

43 He broke his people into 3 groups and ambushed them.

44 Abimelech rushed the gate, his crew went out to the fields and laid them down.

45 He fought the city all day, killed everybody, tore it down, and threw salt all over the land so nothing would grow.

The Tower Falls

46 When the leaders in Shechem’s tower heard what happened, they ran and hid in the temple of Baal-berith.

47 Abimelech got word and…

48 Grabbed wood with his squad from the mountain and said, “Do what I do.”

49 Everybody grabbed wood, set the tower on fire, and killed about 1,000 people inside.

Abimelech’s Death

50 Then Abimelech rolled up to Thebez and surrounded it.

51 But there was a strong tower there too, the people ran inside.

52 Abimelech went to burn it down like before.

53 But a woman dropped a big stone on his head and crushed his skull.

54 He told his armor-bearer, “Kill me so nobody can say I got killed by a woman.” So the dude stabbed him dead.

God Judges Abimelech & Shechem

55 When Abimelech died, everybody went home.

56 God paid Abimelech back for all his evil, especially killing his brothers.

57 God also paid back the men of Shechem for all their dirt. Jotham’s curse came true.